Afterlife
by Soulreciever
Summary: After dying upon Rainbow Bridge Seishrio stirs to find that not only is he still alive but that things are not quite as they should be. AU
1. Rebirth

Afterlife.

Chapter one: Rebirth.

T: This fic began when I saw a clip of X Subaru holding a conversation with TB Subaru and my brain went tangenting…yes it is a word! This fic is AU and holds some vague spoilers for volume 16 onwards of X and yes there will be slash.

Oh and if anyone is interested I would like to steal a beta for this and all my other fics, if only so that others can truly comprehend what I'm trying to say.

Nope I'm not a member of Clamp and thus I can't own it can I?

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

He could feel his body chilling as the last of his life's blood spilled to the tarmac.

He could feel also the last of his strength flowing away into he that was cradling him, could feel this other shining the brighter for this new power.

There was on last thing he had to do before death came for him at last, one truth to tell in hopes of covering over the lies that had always been his nature.

A truth that was to be his redemption.

He pulls himself up and begins by responding to the revelation that this other has wished also fro this release. Has wished to die in his arms, if only so that he could be noticed in that one instant, if only so that he could be more than glass or stone, simply for his last breath.

Then he smiles his first true smile and leaning in he mumbles the other's name before he utters his one truth.

The truth that has killed him.

"I love you."

His strength fades then and as the world blacks out he knows that his one wish has become reality.

That he is dead.

This darkness does not last long, however, and as the light filters in again he is met with a small padded room.

He can see each and every shadow in the padding, can tell how far the wall stands from him and though it is odd to again have sight in both his eyes he is not confused about this fact.

In the afterlife ones past is washed away, after all.

The room itself is more of an enigma…

For it is clearly a cell used in the retention of a mentally unstable patient and yet perhaps this is a metaphor for the insanity of his life, for the madness of the sakura's spell and the influence it has had over him.

He goes to pull himself up, but finds that he is restrained in such a manner that he can only turn his head.

This must also be a metaphor, this time for the binding of his profession and his inability to do as he would have wished.

The door at the other end of the room opens and he is met with the man that Fuuma Monou might have become.

He tries to voice the others assumed name and manages only,

"Ka…" Before his voice fades from him.

The other straitens the glasses that are balanced on his nose and glancing to the clip board cradled in his arm he says,

"You had us worried, Sakurazuka-san, enough so that eh did not think you were coming back to us this time."

"What…?" He manages and Fuuma smiles a wan smile,

"It seems that yet again all our progress has been lost." He sighs and coming to sit in the chair to his left he says, "You are in the year 2000, Sakurazuka-san and the life you have believed your own is nothing more than a fantasy." The other allows him mere moments to process this before he continues,

"In this 'real' world you were a simple man who was nothing more than a simple vet, who lived an ordinary happy life until, nine years ago, your mother was brutally murdered before your eyes.

"You had a psychotic break and fell into a dream world where you were a powerful assassin without emotion and with power enough to protect those you cared for.

"You have come around a few times, but each time this reality has been too much for you and you've fallen back into your dream.

"You were under for three months, this time, and as I said we has thought you gone fore good."

He wished to doubt these words, wished to believe that it was this that was a fantasy and yet looking to the other man's face he knew that he was speaking nothing other than the truth.

Had all of that life been a fantasy, he wondered, or were there things that were true both in this life and his fantasy world.

Apparently Fuuma could see the question in his eyes, or perhaps he had posed this same enquiry the last that he had returned to this life.

"There are those, such as myself, who have made enough of an impact upon your life that you've made them part oft eh fantasy.

"Of course in that world we become metaphors for the part we were playing in this your true life."

He could not but help wonder what Subaru had been a metaphor for, or if he even knew the young Onmyoji in this life.

He was unsurprised to find that this thought hurt him, after all he had known that he loved the boy.

That love had always been a precursor to his death and to feel it had been a misery…

Yet it had also been his truest joy.

"The longevity of this period of sleeping seems to have impacted on your speech; however, I am sure that with exercise you shall find your voice again.

"We shall also re-introduce you to those who are important to you in this life and then we hit the bumpy road.

"The police shall wish to talk to you about your mother's killer, but we shall only let them question you once you feel secure and we feel that you can give them a sensible answer, okay?"

He nods in reply and Fuuma's smile brightens a little,

"Good. I'll send Satsuki in later with your medication and some food."

With that the other man was gone and he has time to comprehend the situation.

The last nine years of his life had been a lie…no, that was not quite the truth…

The last nine years of his life had been some elaborate fiction, one that he'd created to deal with his mother's death and yet…

His mother had died long before that time by his own hand…by her wish.

Yet, perhaps that too had been a fiction, one created to deal with the guilt of being at her side and being able to do nothing.

If he had not been Sakurazukamori then the bet with Subaru had been a lie, Hokuto's death had not occurred and he had never broken Subaru's fragile heart.

If it proved that he did know the Sumeragi in this life he would take it as a second chance and begin their relationship again on a secure footing.

If Subaru had also been little more than a fiction…

It was a possibility he did not wish to consider…

Not yet at least.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

T: I'm making huge assumptions that the Japanese care for their mentally ill as we do and I apologise if this is not the case. Yes, I do love Sei-chan and yes I'm aware that saying such a thing makes me as mad as he is! R+R as I need cheering up!


	2. Recovery

Chapter two: Recovery.

T: Chaos Dragon…I have no idea how I manage to addict you every time, perhaps its just that I choose the right stories! If you really want to Beta then give me you e-mail and I'll start sending chapters your way, though you have to promise to keep reviewing! And yay! A new reviewer, thank you Amy and hope to keep you intrigued.

This chapter, as the last, is a developmental one so bare with me…oh and I apologise in advance for the cliffy, it seemed the most appropriate place to leave this particular chapter.

Nope still not a member of Clamp!

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

He had been conscious a week.

It was apparently not the longest he had stayed in the real world, but it was clearly a positive thing judging by Fuuma's ever increasing smile.

He had gained back his voice slowly and though he could now ask the questions burning at the back of his mind he found he did not wish to.

Found that he was afraid.

Instead he listened to the small snippets of information that Satsuki gave him whenever she came to administer his medication.

As with Fuuma the girl was actually considerably older than she had been within hid dream, yet there were elements still of the board little girl to her, enough to almost completely overshadow the retracted, nervous nature that this Satsuki possessed.

She had told him eventually that this skittish, under confident, behaviour had developed because of her previous husband.

The man had supposedly found power in abusing her and it had only been through the aid of her then friend and now husband Yuuto, that she had found both escape and shelter from him.

Found back a little of whom she used to be.

She had also told him a little of her employer, this information being given again only after much pleading.

Fuuma, it seemed, was a man dedicated to his work and who wished desperately to cure all of his patients. However, he was a kind hearted man and he also tried to respect the wishes of his patients loved ones.

"He is always trying to do the best by everyone." She had explained

He supposed this was why, in his dream, the boy had had the power to be what each person wished the most and also the power to grant wishes.

He'd also come to the conclusion that his wish to die had been forged by the continued guilt of his mother's death and that in wishing to free him of his comatose state Fuuma and Satsuki had become the 'bad guy's' in his elaborate fantasy.

Which had made his wonder about the 'leader' of the 'good guys' in that world.

"Do I know a Kamui Shirou, Satsuki-kun?" He'd enquired as she'd settled next to him.

She'd smiled at that and replied,

"You known Kamui-kun, yes, but he's not a 'Shirou'."

"To what family does he belong, then?"

"I think I shall leave that as a surprise, especially as she's coming to see you today."

"Then she is alive in this world?"

"Yes." There was a secret smile on her lips as she said that and he found that he little liked being outside of the joke,

"Don't look at me like that, Sakurazuka-san, it wouldn't be any fun if I told you who she is and I doubt that you would believe me, anyway." Satsuki stated after the silence had drawn on too long.

Fuuma arrived not long after that and as always the girl left the two of them alone, unlike before Fuuma did not close the door behind him as he entered the room and Seishrio knew then that his visitor was here.

"Good afternoon, Sakurazuka-san. I've been pleased with how you've progressed and I decided to give you someone other than Satsuki to reminisce with.

Another figure stepped into the room then and as Seishrio took in her familiar face he felt a little of his secret fear fade.

For there before him with Hokuto Sumeragi, older than he recalled her, indeed older than she would have been in this year had she lived within his fantasy world. Despite this difference in age she looked almost precisely as he recalled her and smiling he breathed out her name.

"I am glad that you still recognise me, Seishrio-kun." She remarked as she came to sit at his side.

"How could I forget you, Hokuto-chan?"

"The last that you came back you had forgotten me, but then your Hokuto had been dead for a while then, so it is excusable."

"Will you tell me of this Hokuto?"

"We met when I was twenty seven and you were sixteen, your mother and I had known each other for only a few years at that time but after my husband died she became my truest friend.

"I had been married for nine years by the time we met. My husband and I met when I was sixteen and he turned my world around enough so that two years later I was his wife." This seemed to be all the information she was willing to give freely and so he enquired,

"That would make you forty two, yes?"

"You know it's rude to ask a lady her age!" She admonished.

He knew that he had been right in the guess, but aware that there were certain rules of etiquette to obey in this world he said,

"You do not look a day over twenty."

"Flatterer."

A beet and he knows he can not stall any longer, that he has to know whether his heart has been given over to a fiction.

"How is your brother?"

"I do not have a brother, Seishrio-kun." She replied.

The world wavered and Hokuto ceased onto his arm,

"Stay with me, Seishrio-kun, please stay with me."

He knows that he can not now do anything other than that request, for he has died within his dream world and thus it now provides him no escape.

Can no longer run from this hurt.

"Hokuto-chan, I am okay…"

"Seishrio-kun, I have known you a very long time and that is the very first that you have lied to me.

"Monou- san said there might be another reason why you kept going back to that reality and you've talked a little in your sleep of late, enough so that I know there was someone there you loved very much.

"Was that someone as a brother to me?"

"Yes…in fact he was your twin."

"My twin…" She trailed and a bright smile blossomed onto her face.

"So we do change a little once you put us in that other world." She remarked after a moment.

"Hokuto-chan?"

"It is just a thought, Seishrio-kun, one that I shall have to discuss with Monou-kun before I broach it you."

He was little in the mood for her company after that and they talked only a little before he asked that she allow him to get some sleep.

……………………………………………………………………………..

She looked more her age when she settled down at the other side of his desk and yet he supposed that was the worry showing its face."

"He is sleeping normally, Sumeragi-san."

"Good, by the way he responded earlier I thought he might have gone back to that other world."

"What caused such a reaction, Sumeragi-san?"

"He asked again about my brother and I had to again tell him that there was no such person. Unlike the last time he posed that question he seemed to believe my answer and he wavered."

"It seems that that individual is very important to Sakurazuka-san and the thought that he does not exist in this world might be a blow to him."

"I do not know if we are right in assuming that person does not exist in this world, Monou-kun.

"You told me once that Seishrio-san takes those he knows in this life and changes them to fit his purposes in that fantasy world.

"Perhaps this 'brother' is actually another figure in his life that he changed into a brother for me."

"You have an idea who this person might be, don't you?"

"I do but I wanted to ask you if it was alright to bring him."

"If he is someone Sakurazuka-san knew in this life then I can see no true objection."

"I can think of one."

"Which is?"

"Kamui-kun will insist on coming with him and you know how my son feels about Sakurazuka-san."

"Indeed I do."

"I also know how you feel about Kamui-kun, Monou-san."

He felt himself blush and she transforms almost immediately back into the seemingly youthful individual he had become friends with.

"Oh ho, Monou-san I knew you liked him! I may just have to used you as a distraction."

He is used to her teasing now and yet it is better that she covers over her worry with this light banter than with anything else.

After all her happiness is what makes her who she is…

What makes her one of his patient's only true hopes.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

T: Well there is chapter two…it only gets weirder I warn you! R+R as it cheers me up.


	3. Reunion

Chapter 3: Reunion

T: blushes well I'm impressed that so many responded to my request for a beta thank you to all those who offered their services and I'm glad to announce that the wonderful Chaosdragon will be performing this duty and supposedly threatening individuals into reading my fics…her idea not mine! On that note updates are now not going to be as regular as they were if only because there are now two schedules to take into account rather than one!

Warnings are the same with a tiny upping of the slash quota and nope I'm still not a member of Clamp...sob!

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

In the years that Fuuma had known Kamui Sumeragi the boy had changed relatively little, he was still a darkly handsome individual who clearly wore the grief of his father's death as some impenetrable darkness within his eyes.

He was smiling a little today though. This rare thing was most likely in direct response to the other one who stood at his side.

The young man was a rare beauty; the short cut to his hair complimenting perfectly the sharp angles of a face that must have been all but feminine to perceive in its infancy. There was enough of Hokuto in the man's features that Fuuma supposed he was a close relation to the girl and perhaps even the mysterious brother that Kamui had mentioned once or twice in passing conversation.

He was also blind in his right eye.

It was something that Fuuma noticed only when the man leaned forwards to shake his hand and something about the injury nagged at him enough so that he stored the knowledge of it away for later perusal.

"This is my older son, Monou-kun, Subaru Sumeragi."

"A pleasure to meet you, Monou-san."

"And you Sumeragi-kun."

"I suppose you are wondering why I have not mentioned him to you before, Monou-kun?"

"Actually I was wondering why I have not seen his face here before."

"I had no wish to see Seishiro-san so weak, Monou-san. I also had no wish to face the pain of being forgotten by him." A deep pain blossomed into the man's one remaining emerald eye as he said those words and Kamui's smile faded away like mist.

"I knew that it was wrong for you to come here, Subaru. All that that man has ever brought this family is grief and heart ache. Perhaps it would be better for all concerned if he had been lost within his fantasy."

"Kamui…" Subaru has paled considerably and as a hand rose for his heart Fuuma feels his blood run cold.

Once he had had a sister, a bright happy sister, who he had loved greatly. Kotori, his dear 'little bird' had lived as fast and free as her namesakes until the day that her tiny heart had simply given up. She too had reacted in such a manner to situations of great stress. She had died through such a reaction. Thus he was at Subaru's side before Hokuto, commanding the man to breath deeply.

"I think Sumeragi-kun and I should go and see Sakurazuka-san alone. Perhaps you two would like to try something sweet, I hear the ice cream parlour across the road from us is excellent."

"Thank you, Monou-san, perhaps we shall take you up on the suggestion." Hokuto remarked as she grabbed Kamui by the arm and dragged him forcefully in the direction of the exit.

"Thank you." Sumeragi-kun remarked after they had left.

"Don't thank me. My sister had a weak heart as well and she always used to say that the fussing she received after a mild attack only helped make things worse."

"When did she die?" It was an odd question for one had seemed so shy and yet Fuuma supposed the man was asking more out of some morbid curiosity than anything else.

"Twenty two years ago…our mother had just been diagnosed with cancer and the shock of it was too much for Kotori."

"I will not offer you empty forgiveness, Monou-san; instead I shall tell you that she would be proud of the man that you have become."

"Thank you." He paused, and then both for professional curiosity and a little of his own, Fuuma enquired:

"How did you meet Sakurazuka-san?"

The other smiled a wistful smile and slowly replied. "Father and I had gone to Ueno Park to feed the birds as we always did on a Sunday. Father decided to treat me to ice cream and after making sure that I would stay where I was for a few minutes he went off towards the nearest parlour.

"I had a minor attack not two seconds after that. Thankfully Seishiro-san had been walking by and he did what you did, calm me and instructed me to breath deep and slow. Father came back just a little after that and drew the conclusion that Seishiro-san had saved my life. He brought him to meet mother and she saw enough of her new friend Setsuka-san in him that she knew this was her son.

"After that I saw a great deal of both Seishiro-san and Setsuka-san, and I grew to care very much for the both of them, enough so that after father died the bright light of their friendship kept me free of most of the grief and misery."

"Her death must have been a grief also,"

"Indeed it was."

Fuuma did not push for any more information after that, but instead allowed Sumeragi-kun time to gather his thoughts. He stopped as they came into sight of Sakurazuka-san's door and enquired: "Sumeragi-kun, has your mother told you why you are here?"

"She said that it might benefit Seishiro-san to see me."

"Did she mention what Sakurazuka-san has made you into in his world?"

"She told me that he thought me her brother but said that I could find out the rest myself."

"I see." It was not really a surprise to learn that she had told Sumeragi-kun such a thing; she had, after all, quite a head for subterfuge and mystery. Not wishing to spoil her setup he resisted the urge to tell Sumeragi-kun about Sakurazuka-san's feelings for his other world self, and instead simply unlocked the door and stepped inside.

Seishiro had been moved up into a sitting position on the bed; his eyes were trained on his wrist bindings . . . and yet it was clear that he was not actually seeing anything at all.

Fuuma had planned to introduce Sumeragi-kun, but the moment that the younger man had seen his friend's condition he had moved to sit at his side.

"Seishiro-san?" He enquired as he grasps for the other's hand.

The sound of his voice resisted with Sakurazuka-san and his gaze lifted and focused to his companion's face. "Subaru-kun?"

"Yes, Seishiro-san, it's me."

"Subaru-kun." The older mans fingers tighten on the hand linked to his and a smile blossomed onto his face.

"Hokuto-chan told me that you did not exist, Subaru-kun…"

"She told you that she did not have a brother and that is true."

"What are you to her, then?"

"Her eldest son."

Sakurazuka-san seemed to be processing this information and then he enquired: "Your bother would be Kamui, would it?"

"Yes." A beet then, "I am sorry, Seishiro-san."

"What are you sorry for, Subaru-kun?"

"I am sorry for not coming to see you before today, sorry that I was not there with you when your mother was attacked, sorry that I could not help more afterwards and sorry that you have to be locked up in here." Sumeragi-kun stated. Ashamed, he could no longer hold Seishiro's gaze and looked down.

Fuuma recalled suddenly one of the notes that had been given to him when Sakurazuka-san had been turned into his care. Sumeragi-kun's missing eye, his familiarity with the man and Kamui's anger suddenly made clearer sense to him and he wondered if, perhaps, this meeting had been a good idea after all.

……………………………………………………………………………….

"Eat your Sunday, Kamui."

"Mother…you should have allowed me to stay at Subaru's side."

"And allow your anger to kill him, you mean?"

"That is not fair. If you had not insisted that he come here then I would have no need to be angry, and thus no need to worry him to the point of bringing about another attack."

"Is it fair that I should deny Seishiro-kun the chance to be truly happy in this life, Kamui? Is it fair that I should cast away the man who is as a nephew to me simply for one mistake?"

"It was not a 'mistake', mother, it was simply a subconscious expression of the darkness that lies within him." He remarked as he turned to glare out of the window.

She knew, somehow, that today his anger was not simply about Seishiro-kun, but about the betrayal Kamui feels still for her choice to love again . . . to leave behind the sadness of her husband's death and to live. "Kamui, you can not heap all of your anger and hate upon Seishiro-kun, especially when some of the 'misery' you talked of befalling this family has come through my choice."

"It was his mother who convinced you that there was no guilt in forgetting father, his mother who pointed you in the direction of a 'friend' she thought you might like."

"Yet I was alone when I met Kakyo, Kamui and it was my choice whether to see him again or no. My choice to say yes when he asked me to marry him . . . you are always keen to portion blame away from this family, to always see the darker aspects of human nature in all but yourself. Yet, Kamui, you cannot allow that to be always the case. Shijuku would not wish his beloved boy to be so tainted by his passing."

"He was murdered mother! By one he considered friend . . . one he could almost have called brother. Is it not understandable for me to find difficulty in trusting? Especially in those who have hurt this family once before?"

"No . . . it is not wrong. Yet I can not help but believe that no matter the shadows in someone's heart, love will shine through."

"Love?"

"Seishiro-kun loves your brother, Kamui, enough so that the thought of losing him is as death to him." Kamui broached no counter argument, this time. She knew that she had gained a small victory. Even so . . . soon enough Kamui would see the flaw in her logic and he shall again be free to distrust and hate Seishiro-kun.

For the man that the other loves is a fantasy version of her son, one who has most likely been moulded and shaped into Seishiro-san's ideal of perfection.

The true Subaru, the ailing shy and weak man that her son has become, will never meet his ideal. Perhaps Seishiro-kun shall find that loving a fantasy was better than loving a shadow and sever his connection to her child. Perhaps he would betray all the faith and hope that she has placed on him.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

T: As I hope you can tell there is now an undercurrent of hidden stories and big huge twists that shall escape later in the plot…and yes I shall explain why Hokuto still claims the Sumeragi name. Will dance if enough people R+R!


	4. Rememberence

Chapter four: Remembrance.

T: This chapter is the longest in my note book which means it will most likely be the longest here…I'm just warning you! And talking of warnings they remain the same with the addition of psychobabble…it'll make sense soon! Yep, I'm still not a member of Clamp!

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Monu-kun had eventually asked that Subaru-kun leave, some worry clear now in his eyes that had not been there before. It didn't matter to Seishiro what had brought such concern to the man, for the joy in seeing Subaru-kun was enough to wash away any concern or sadness tat might have plagued him this day. He had prepared himself for the fact that Subaru-kun would be different in this world, when he had first regained consciousness, thus he had simply taken each change as he discovered it and familiarized himself with it, so that he might love it as part of Subaru-kun.

The missing right eye had been the most disturbing aspect of their meeting.

He had thought the whole affair some elaborate metaphor for something and yet gazing into the unseeing blankness of Subaru-kun's eye he had realized that this was not the case. There was some hidden significance to the fact that he had been the fist to lose an eye in the dream world and that Subaru had lost his merely through the guilt of being unable to do anything to prevent that initial loss.

He was unable to drawn anymore conclusions, however, before the door opened to admit another familiar face:

Kakyo Kizuki

He has aged well in this life and there is a smile almost permanently on his lips, something that would have been entirely out of character for the Dreamseer in Seishiro's fantasy and yet which looks natural on this version of the man.

"Sakurazuka-san, it is good to see you looking so well."

"And you Kizuki-san."

The other comes to sit at his side and Seishiro notes that he has a notebook clenched in one hand.

"It is good that you recognize me, Sakurazuka-san and that you are responding to me in a natural fashion. That means that we can skip the primaries and move into the 'meat' of this session."

"You are a physiatrist?"

"Indeed I am, in fact I'm one of the two leading physiatrists in the field of dream analysis, the other being my business partner Hinoto."

Something in the way that the other stresses the word 'business' prompting him to ask: "You are married in this world then?"

"I am, in fact it was partly on my wife's behalf that I am here at all . . . she grew so sad once you had fallen into your coma, and I though I was already considering your case for your mother's sake, it was that misery that swayed me."

"You are married to Hokuto-chan, are you not?"

"Yes and have been as such for ten years now."

"Yet she is still 'Sumeragi' rather than 'Kizuki'."

"She asked me that she might retain the family name in honor of Shijuku-san, a request that I was more than content to grant."

"When did she loose him?"

"Fourteen years ago now." Kizuki-san replies before he opens out his notebook and flips to what Seishiro supposes is the most recent entry, "The last that we talked the 'Kamui' of the Dragons of Earth had just awoken, would you tell me what has occurred since that time."

Seishiro willingly tells Kizuki-san of the close companionship that had been forged between Subaru and Kamui, of the incident on Sunshine '60 and of the anger he had felt when Fuuma had dared mar Subaru, finally he told the other of Rainbow Bridge and his final dying words.

"So you believe that there is now no going back to that world?" Kizuki-san finally managed to ask.

"Yes, that is correct. I have died in that life and yet there is chance now for me to live in this world and thus I shall not grieve overly much for that loss."

"The representation of your perfect self has perished, this is true, yet the representation of your true self exists still in that world."

"My 'true self'?"

"Indeed. Setsuka-kun's death and your inability to do nothing even though you were there with her, brought about in you a desire to become strong, to do all the things you had been unable to do in this life. Thus you created an image of the man you wished to be and forged a situation where that perfect you could mould the true you into a copy of his personality. Had you not awoken I believe that this process would have been wholly successful and that this transition would have been the death of you."

"So the 'real' me in that world was Subaru-kun?"

"No, you simply chose Subaru's form as a front for that transition."

"Why him?"

"Because your perfect self had one weakness, one thing that would make him as vulnerable as your true self."

" . . . love."

"Yes, love and the ability to feel that emotion, both of which could be represented only by Subaru as far as you were concerned.

"For you had began to fall in love with this worlds Subaru before your mother's death."

"Why would I give my 'perfect' self a weakness?"

"Because part of you wished to return to this world, wished to take the lessons you have learned in your fantasy and put them into good use. And because a part of you still wishes to bring your mother's killer to justice."

"Was he there in my fantasy?"

"Most likely there were aspects of his personality in your perfect self and perhaps even elements of his appearance. Yet I do not think the killer himself actually appeared, you wished to forget that the incident was caused by anything other than your choices and your actions, after all.

"Thus I suspect that his face will be lost somewhere within your subconscious."

"And you are going to help me recover it, are you?"

"With the help of Monu-kun, of course."

"I thought that you were an expert."

"In dream analysis, Sakurazuka-san. As far as the psychoanalysis of conscious thought goes Fuuma Monu is the one and only expert."

"I suppose that he is doing this for Hokuto-chan as well?"

"Actually he is doing it for me."

"Ah." A beat and then because he was curious despite himself he enquired, "Why was I the first to lose my eye in the fantasy world rather that Subaru-kun?"

Kakyo seemed to be considering something and then he replied, "Guilt."

"Guilt for what, Kizuki-san?"

"You did not stay with your mother's corpse, Sakurazuka-san, but instead went to the one place that you knew offered sanctuary. Covered in your mother's blood and your mind already closing in on itself you came to Subaru's apartment. He welcomed you and phoned the police once he'd pieced together what had happened from you words. Something came over you while he was on the phone and you grabbed a knife with the intention of killing yourself… the intention of taking away the hurt and the guilt.

"Subaru stopped you and you lashed out…"

He sees a flash of a younger Subaru-kun, one blood soaked hand pressed to his right eye and his lips mouthing something and yet as Seishiro tries to focus on the words the image fades.

"How could he forgive me such a thing, indeed how can Hokuto-chan?"

"Because they believe in you, Sakurazuka-san and because they can not claim to be your friends and then refuse you forgiveness.

"Of course not everyone in the family has given you that trust."

"Ah, so the true Kamui had no love for me and that is supposedly why he became the leader of the Dragons of Heaven?"

"Indeed. His wish that you remain comatose and thus away from his beloved brother placed him as an ideal figure for the leader of those wishing to save the 'Earth'."

"Do I know all of the main players in my fantasy, Kizuki-san?"

"Of course,"

"Tell me about them."

"Do you not think that would be wondering rather away from the point of this session?"

"No, I do not. Though you believe it unlikely that I saw the killers face in my fantasy it is still possible. It is also possible that I placed more aspects of his self into the other players in that world, thus if I can compare what they are like here to how they were there…"

"Yes, I see what you are trying to achieve. Very well, where would you like me to begin?"

"How about with those of Earth as I have Fuuma and Satsuki already clear in my mind."

"Your 'salary man', Yuuto is actually a marriage councillor and he also does some part time work for a shelter for abused women, which is incidentally where he met Satsuki. He's less brash than you have described him and you would most defiantly not mistake him for a pimp if you saw him again.

"'Nataku' is actually a young man by the name of Yumeni, he's Monu-san's right hand man and apprentice which is most likely where you got the father/son bond from. He's more fun loving than your Nataku, but he certainly has a bitter streak.

"The man you think of as Kusinagi was actually Shijuku Sumeragi, Hokuto's first husband and clearly his environmentalist ways had enough of an influence on you that even though he's been dead all this time you still recall him.

"As to those of Heaven, your world's Kamui sounds fairly well the same as the Kamui of this world, all you need do is substitute a mother's death for a father's and you have him perfected."

"How much younger is this Kamui when comparing to Subaru?"

"Only a year. Kamui is twenty four and Subaru is twenty five."

"What do they do for a living then? My Kamui was only eighteen and weighted down enough so that profession really did not figure much into the scheme of things. As to Subaru…"

"This is a world without magic and thus he can not be what he was in your world. He's actually just finished his zoology course and he's applied to join Ueno Zoo. Hinoto has taken Kamui under her wing and is training him up as her apprentice, though he'll have to shake off his past if he is going to get anywhere.

"Back to what we were saying, Karen and Aoiko Seiichrio were assistants at your surgery and are a nice couple. They're very religious, though Karen has a bit of a daring side which is most likely why she became so flamboyant in your world. He accounts for you which she is your surgery assistant.

"Arashi is the receptionist here and she's as demure in this world as she was yours. She has the potential to be a little more and I'm in talks with Monu-san about letting her train with me. Soratta is our handyman with the penchant for risking everything for a pretty face. He's absolutely smitten with Arashi and is trying, vainly, to win her over.

"Finally little Yuzihara. She's a fellow patient who claims her dying grandmother bespelled her with a protective spirit who only she can see. She's cheery most of the time but doubt 'Inuki' or get her on a bad day and she's got a vicious temper."

"How about Segawa-kun?" Seishiro asked.

"I do not know anyone as you describe that boy, however the family name does ring a bell."

"And?"

"Murimi Segawa, he was Shijuku's business partner, confidant and pseudo brother. They ran a successful fashion empire with Hokuto as their brightest star. However, Murimi got greedy and tried to stage a takeover bid on both the company and on Hokuto. Shijuku stood up for his wife and he called the authorities on Murimi even though it pained him to do as such. His friend had already fled, however and they believed that an end to things. Murimi was less stable than they had believed, however, and he returned but a week after that to kill Shijuku…"

"Then he is the one who killed my mother."

"He also killed himself that night, Sakurazuka-san."

Seishiro had felt so sure that he had been on the right track, that somehow Murimi was the key to his mother's murder, yet it seemed that his suspicions had proved little more than that.

Unless…

"Did Murimi have a child?"

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

T: Yes I am leaving it there…snerk, if you think this is a cliff hanger wait until chapter seven! R+R to make this poor authoress feel loved!


	5. Redemption

Chapter five: Redemption.

T: Well judging by my reviews it seems Chaosdragon is making good her threat so hi new reviewers and sorry if you've suffered any violence! Silver salamander, I am dancing you just can't see me! J.J. blue, yes the ages are a little off but then that's because this isn't cannon but rather an A.U…I have the eerie feeling that I shall be using that excuse a lot with this fic! This chapter increases the Fuuma/Kamui relationship just a little but apart from that the warnings remain the same.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Seishiro had felt so sure that he had been on the right track, that somehow Murimi was the key to his mother's murder, yet it seemed that his suspicions had proved little more than that.

Unless…

"Did Murimi have a child?"

"I do not know, Sakurazuka-san. Hokuto would be the one to ask that question to and yet . . . I do not think that she shall have wish to be reminded of Murimi or the hurt he brought to her family."

"Yet if he had a son before he died . . . "

"Sakurazuka-san, perhaps perusing this course is not the best for you. For if it proves that he had no son then you shall have just upset both Hokuto and yourself."

"Then what do you suggest?" Seishiro asked, annoyance evident in his voice.

"Wait until you are sure of yourself, sure that this boy is the one responsible for Setsuka-kun's death."

"And until then?"

"Subaru will be here again tomorrow, I suggest that you tell him the truth about his other world self and about your feelings for him."

Sakurazuka-san seemed to be considering this suggestion and then his smile darkened. "Even if this Subaru-kun returns my feelings it is not right for me to approach him. Not when I hurt him, not when all I can offer him is this . . . madness."

"There is no true madness within you, Sakurazuka-san, not any more at least. The first time that you awoke back into this world was a little after Hokuto died in your fantasy. You were mad then, without a doubt, for you believed you were seeing nothing more than a world of Subaru's creation. Believed that we were the fantasy and somehow found a way to break free your restraints. You stood in plain view and mumbled to yourself about the illusion of your tree being able to keep you safe, keep you hidden. Kamui was the one who found you and he said something to you that fallen back into your coma. It was thankful that you went back at that time, for you had not yet recovered from the shock of your mother's death. Yet I truly believe that your mind had now healed and that once you have seen justice brought to your mother's killer, you will be allowed to leave this place. Trust a little in your heart, Sakurazuka-san."

"You really are Hokuto-chan's husband, aren't you?" He enquired, his smile deepening.

Kakyo had know Seishiro Sakurazuka for nine years now, both in and out of his fantasy and this was the first that he'd seen him allow himself to hope for a better future. The first that Kakyo had truly believed that the other could have a life beyond this incident.

………………………………………………………………………………

He had decided to have his lunch out in the sunshine, something that had seemed a perfectly good idea until Kamui had spotted him. It was not that Fuuma disliked the younger man, but rather that he had developed rather too much of a liking for him. It had happened very quickly, one day the man had been a good friend and a colleague and the next . . . the next he had found himself unable to form intelligent sentences, found his skin flushing at inappropriate moments, found his mind wondering away to thoughts of Kamui's eyes or the younger man's lips.

This meant that sometimes when the man enquired after Fuuma's opinion he received a slightly odd answer. He'd then almost invariably lean forwards slightly and placing a hand to Fuuma's forehead ask about his health, usually with a worried, 'You are not sick are you?' Of course the proximity of Kamui would mean his skin flushed, so that his rather weak reply of no would seem all but empty.

It did not help that Hokuto had been teasing Fuuma about his attraction or that due to the heat of the day Kamui had removed his shirt and was now clothed only in a very tight grey t-shirt and jeans.

"How was _he_ with Subaru?" The younger man enquired as he took the seat opposite.

"He seemed content, Kamui and more himself than he has in a long time."

"How about Subaru? You did watch him closely, did you not, in case the worry or the misery brought on an attack?"

"I watched him Kamui, and in his presence your brother became stronger, almost as though he wished to show Sakurazuka-san only his brightest elements rather than his darker self."

"He cares all too much about what Sakurazuka-san thinks of him. When we came here yesterday he asked mother, 'Seishiro-san was happy in that other world, wasn't he? That was because he loved someone there, was it not?'

"Mama smiled that scheming smile of hers and replied, 'Perhaps he did, Subaru, you shall have to ask him.'

"He paused then asked mother, 'yet if he loves someone in that world does that mean he has stopped loving us, mama?' Of coarse mother refused to answer that and he shut himself away . . . yet I can not see why, Fuuma, can not see why it should matter to Subaru if Sakurazuka-san thinks anything of us."

The answer was rather obvious as far as Fuuma was concerned and thus he chose not to reply to what could only be a rhetorical question. Instead he decided to find out why Kamui so disliked the older man, in what he hoped was a very sneaky manner.

"Kamui, perhaps you should wonder instead why it is that both your mother and Sumeragi-kun are concerned of what Sakurazuka-san thinks of them, while you desire so strongly to both hate and be hater by him."

"I have no need to wonder. Sakurazuka-san has a darker self, Fuuma, one that is hidden close to him and yet he shows it clearly in his dreams. Kakyo says that Sakurazuka-san's fantasy is a metaphor for the wishes he could not achieve in this world and I agree. Yet Kakyo then looks to the being of the Sakurazukamori and sees merely the wish for vengeance, the wish to blank away emotion so that he cannot suffer again this hurt. I see the true desire, the desire to be as his mother's killer, to blank away emotion so that he too might take life for his own selfish benefit. I see the desire to possess and control my brother by whatever means necessary . . . "

"All of us have an animal darkness in our hearts, Kamui; all of us possess the desire to control our most beloved person and to use that control to insure they think only of us, only of their own selfish wish to possess and be possessed by the one they love."

"There is more to it Fuuma, that I believe unconditionally."

Fuuma regarded the closed in expression on the younger man's face and knew that no matter how rational his argument, Kamui would continue to believe Sakurazuka-san his enemy, that he would continue to believe that that man posed some dark threat to his beloved family.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

T: He he! Yes Kamui does know more than he's saying, no, I'm not going to tell you what it is and nope it's not in the next chapter…cruel aren't I? R+R and perhaps I'll stop the torture!


	6. Realisation

Chapter six: Realisation.

T: I know that some of the spelling is going to be off….that's why I've got Chaosdragon after all…so mayhap you could stick to critiquing the story in reviews? Meh…is up to you really! Anyway, it was in this chapter that I finally realised where this story was going so things are going to get very very complicated very quickly from here on in…don't say I didn't warn you! Oh and J.J Blue…don't worry I'll be putting you out of your misery in the next chapter! For those who enjoy my work I'm posting something exclusively to my sight (Shameless plug) so go and have a look…

Is Clamps not mine…am sad about that! Oh and warnings the same.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Subaru Sumeragi was nervous.

He knew he should be excited to see Seishrio-san again, and he knew that there was some deep current of emotion within him that meant his heart sped all the quicker in the others presence. Yet to be anxious about seeing the man again that he felt nervous . . . that made little sense. Especially when he had passed nine years of his life without seeing the other; had changed enough so that he supposed that Seishrio would have no real want to be his friend now . . . or to be anything other than that.

Almost without thought his hand raised up to touch his blind eye and his mind scattered back to that day . . .

There had been a wild darkness within Seishiro-san's eyes, and as he had told his tale there had been a harmonic in his voice that had both pulled and repelled Subaru from the other. Then there was some infinite sadness had washed over the other and his hands had scrambled to gain one of Subaru's kitchen knives. He recalled that he had been talking to the police as Seishrio had brought that knife towards his wrists . . .

Recalled stumbling mid sentence . . .

Recalled dropping the phone . . .

Recalled stopping Seishrio's hand just short of its destination...

Then there had been a white heat in his eye and blood everywhere . . . the dampness telling him what had occurred . . . telling him that never again would he see the world through both his eyes. Seishrio-san was staring blankly at the blood on the knife . . . on himself . . . was swaying just barely back and forth. Seishrio-san's name had left his lips then and he'd stumbled over to the other . . . voicing silly nothings and pleading amid these for Seishrio not to go away, for Seishrio to remain at his side . . . he had wrapped himself about the other and as he had begun at last to pass into unconsciousness he'd voiced at last his deepest secret.

He had awoken in the hospital, his mother's warm hands wrapped about his own and Kamui sat sullenly at his other side.

'Where is Seishrio-san?' he had enquired

'Where he belongs.' Kamui had replied.

He had had no want to deal with his brother in this mood and thus he had turned his head so that he could look his mother in the eye and enquire: 'What is he saying mama?'

She had looked at him with such pity, then, a dark look, the sort of which he had never seen from her before or since. 'Subaru . . . ' She had paused and turning from him she had began to cry. Watching her tears he had felt his heart numb and thus when she had spoken the words . . . when she had told him that Seishrio-san had gone far away perhaps never to return . . . he had found himself unable to weep also.

Now thought he cried bitter tears, the sodden dampness as a release to the anger and the hate that had been building inside of him since that day.

How dare Seishrio-san leave without him, how dare he search for comfort from another and how dare he close away from Subaru just as he had realized . . .

"I love you Seishrio-san."

Speaking those words he found that the anxiety of today had passed into mist and at last he understood. He had feared to face Seishrio-san while his own heart was so tangled about itself; he had feared to hear the man echo back his confession when he was unsure of what he felt, unsure as to whether the anger had driven out the tentative blossoming of his love. It was clear now in the knowledge that this was not so, and that no matter what, his heat would remain true.

The anxiety had passed into this uncontained joy. "Seishrio-san, I will help you no matter what," He remarked as he smiled his first true smile since he had lost his eye all of nine years ago. "I love you, after all."

He was not a physiatrist for nothing and looking to Sumeragi-kun Fuuma could all but see the change in his mental state. Clearly some momentous change had been wrought upon Sumeragi-kun since the previous evening, though Fuuma was at a loss as to what had brought such a confidence to one had seemed before shy and retiring. "Has any progress been made?" Sumeragi-kun enquired as they came to Sakurazuka-san's door.

"He was with Kizuki-san until the early hours discussing his other life, in an attempt to see if he had inadvertently hidden his mother's killer's face within that fantasy."

"And?"

Kakyo had been worn when he had at last left Sakurazuka-san's room and yet he's stayed long enough to tell Fuuma about Sakurazuka-san's idea that Murimi might have born a child, that that child might be the one responsible. To tell Sumeragi-kun such a thing, however, especially when it was simply speculation . . . "I am not the one to enquire as to what was learned in that session, Sumeragi-kun."

"Fair enough . . . Shall we go in?"

Sakurazukamori-kun was chatting to Satsuki, the gentle smile present upon his lips kindling into something beautiful as he saw Subaru. "Good afternoon, Subaru-kun."

"Good afternoon, Seishrio-san, miss."

"Good afternoon, Sumeragi-san. If you will excuse me . . . " She said as she gained her feet.

Silence stretched a little after she was gone and Fuuma became acutely aware that he was a third wheel in this situation. Of course it was impossible for him to leave Sakurazuka-san alone with Sumeragi-kun, especially when the other man was impressionable enough that he might loose Sakurazuka-san and aid in his escape.

Thus he turned away from the pair and began humming a little tuneless ditty. He would still be able to hear them but he hoped that the pretence of being unable to hear would be enough for the pair. He heard Sumeragi-kun stepping over to stand at the others side and the soft sound of skin contacting skin.

"I made a choice today, Seishrio-san, and as I promised, I have come to tell you what that choice was . . . "

"I do not recall that promise, Subaru-kun."

"But I do."

Silence a moment and until Sumeragi-kun said "I want to help you to find the answer to your quest, Seishrio-san, even if when you find it you again leave my side. I want to help you because I love you."

"Even though I might never leave this place, though I might truly be mad?"

"Yes."

Again a soft noise, this one the unmistakable sound of a kiss and then Sakurazuka-san could say was "I could ask for nothing more than your aid, Subaru, for I love you also."

The bright sound of Subaru's laughter bursts forth at that confession and Fuuma can picture the bright smile that must now grace the younger man's face. "Can I ask how we met, Subaru, how we were before mother died?"

"Of course, Seishrio." The younger man proceeded to recount again the tail of his first meeting with Sakurazuka-san, this time dwelling on how he had found a fascination in the older man even at that early stage.

As Sumeragi-kun talked of the friendship that had blossomed between the pair, Fuuma found that he could understand why Sumeragi-kun had given his faith over to Sakurazuka-san. He also found that he understood Kamui's hatred of the man even less than he had before this meeting. For though there was a dark threat to Sakurazuka-san it had all but been repressed under his care for the older Sumeragi sibling.

Always the Sumeragi-kun had been a figure for both protection and possession within the other's fantasy, a figure that had represented the one weakness of Sakurazuka-san's perfect self. Fuuma did not believe love was a cure all as Kizuki-san and yet he could not but hope that Sakurazuka-san's love for Subaru would save him.

Save him and give him back his life.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

T: Heh! It's the long awaited explanation chapter next time around until then R+R…no I'm not going to bribe you this time around!


	7. Revilation

7: Revelation.

T: I know it's been a while since I updated this one but apparently Chaos Dragon (My Beta for this fic) has been having a rather nasty time of it, what with hospitals and all…basically this one is going to remain a slow burner I'm afraid… keeps the anticipation! GSYH actually it was that episode of Buffy that inspired this idea so there we are! Warnings the same and nope I'm not a member of Clamp!

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

It was well past visiting hours when Subaru phoned, yet his late return must be based in some positive development and thus Hokuto found herself unable to be angry with her son.

"Subaru, what can I do for you?"

"Mother…" His breath hitched after that one syllable and she knew then what the development had been.

"You have told him then."

"Yes."

"And he returns your care?"

"Yes."

The brief instant of silence is enough to inform her that her child is hiding something and she wasted no time in enquiring, "What is on your mind, Subaru?"

"Seishrio has told me all about that world and the part I played there, has told me that it was for love for me that kept him trapped there. He also told me of his belief that he has seen his mothers killer in that world…" Again a hesitation and then Subaru enquired, "Might Murimi have had a son?"

She fights to retain her composure at that and her voice neutral she says, "It is possible, Subaru, but I do not think we need worry ourselves with such thoughts."

A sigh. "Yes, I suppose you are right. Good night, mother."

"Good night."

She sits in silence a moment and then she dials the institute's number. "Hello, Kishu-san, might I speak to my husband please?"

"Of course, Sumeragi-san, if you will wait a moment…"

The silence that followed was all but deafening and again and again she hears in her mind that tentative enquiry, 'Might Murimi have had a son?' She hears layered upon the repetition of that question another that had been made of her so very long ago by Setsuka, 'I have a secret I need to tell you, Hokuto-chan, will you listen?'

She could see the way the older woman had looked as she made that enquiry even now, can see the pallor of her skin and the fear within her eyes. She had listened to the secret and had sworn never to tell anyone, had sworn that this confidence would remain between the two of them.

"Hokuto?" That was Kakyo at last, concern clear in his voice, "What is the matter, love?"

"Did . . . did Seishrio-chan say anything to you of Murimi's son? Did he see that other in his dream world?"

"He saw a boy by the name of Keiichi Segawa."

"Describe him, Kakyo." She could hear him hesitate and for the briefest of moments and she feared he would ask for explanation, ask her to confess at last the one secret that stood between them. Yet after a moment he sighed and described to her the one Seishrio thought of as Keiichi. As he finished, she stated: "That is Murimi…or at least the boy Murimi had been before greed and madness changed him."

"Yet how would Sakurazuka know such a thing? Indeed why were you so concerned as to the appearance of the one named Keiichi?"

"Both are linked to a common thing, Kakyo and yet I can not tell you what that is, not without breaking a confidence."

"That confidence could well be protecting a killer, Hokuto."

"I know and yet…yet I think it might also be protecting Seishrio-chan's sanity." In the silence that followed she found herself creating sense out of the confusion surrounding Seishrio-chan's referral and Kamui's sudden antipathy towards the man. She had asked her son what he had said to Seishrio-chan to push him back into his other world and her son had replied, 'I simply told him the truth.'

A cold sweat broke onto her forehead and she hastily told her husband, "I have to go" before she hung up the phone and gained her feet.

She had to know if her conclusion was right, had to know what 'the truth' that Kamui had imparted to Seishrio-chan had been.

Her son was in a deep sleep and it took a great effort to stir him from that state. Once he was awake he blinked his eyes and enquired, "Why have you woken me when it's so late?"

"Were you there, Kamui, when Setsuka-san died? Did you see he that killed her?"

"Why do you want to know, mother? Why when it is all too late to stop harm coming from the truth?" That was all she needed to hear, all the confirmation she required to inform her that she had indeed been correct in her conclusion.

"You saw Seishrio-chan, didn't you?"

"Yes."

…………………………………………………………………………….

The phone call from his wife had rattled him more than was truly necessary. She had seemed so frightened of what his answer would be to her enquiry of Keiichi's description . . .Yet why? What was the secret that she was keeping from him and how had Sakurazuka-san been able to know what Murimi had been before his madness?

Did Sakurazuka-san also subconsciously know the secret that Hokuto was harboring? There was, of course, a way to find out and yet he hesitated to use it…

Dream analysis was one thing, but to actively pry into the dreams, to use them as a way of achieving answers to things that would otherwise be kept secret…

It was almost like spying and yet it was most likely the only way that he would get the answers he desired.

The only way he could bring back Hokuto's happiness.

Thus he entered Sakurazuka-san's room as quietly as he could and when assured that the other was still asleep he settled in the chair at his side. "Sakurazuka-san, can you hear me?" He enquired after a moment, his voice low pitched and modulated in such a way that it reached into the others subconscious.

"I hear you, Kizuki-san."

"Can I ask you a few questions, Sakurazuka-san?"

"Yes."

"And will you promise to answer me truly?"

"Yes."

"Then tell me who Keiichi Segawa is."

"He is a boy who likes Kamui…an ordinary boy caught into a war made specifically for the extraordinary."

"Who is he in this world, Sakurazuka-san and why have you given him the face of a killer."

"Because he has no face of his own."

"Do you mean that he is scarred enough so that he bears no features?"

"No, I mean simply that his face is not his own." Clearly this line of questioning will get them no-where, so Kakyo returns to the question that Sakurazuka-san had so tactically evaded.

"Who is that boy to you in this world?"

"My reflection."

"Would you explain yourself?"

"I can not recall much of that boy and thus when I think of him I think instantly of how he looks to me."

"As your reflection?"

"Yes, for the face he wears in this world is my own and yet he has twisted it…has made it ugly to behold."

"You are Keiichi Segawa, is that what you are trying to say?"

"No. I am trying to tell you that he bears my face and yet that we are separate, that he is my brother…my twin." Sakurazuka pauses a moment and then continues again by saying,

"That day mother had arranged for us to meet, for she believed that Keiichi had grown beyond the violence that had separated him from us in the first place. The separation had caused me to forget him and mother had to recall him to me before we met and yet I believed that I could have loved him again. Believed that I might have grown to trust him beyond all others as I had long ago. He was happy enough when we first met and then mother said something about father and Keiichi changed…he had a knife and he pressed it to my throat, threatened to end my life.

"Mother begged for him to kill her instead and he granted that wish. He told me that he would kill me also if I moved. His face…no, my face…was coated in her blood and yet he was smiling as though nothing mattered at all. As though she were insignificant." Tears had began to leak free of Sakurazuka-san's eyes and Kakyo knows that now is the time to call a stop to this invasion.

"Sakurazuka-san, I need you to know that Setsuka-chan's death was not your fault, that though he is your twin Keiichi is not you. Lease up your guilt and know that Setsuka-chan died so that you might live, died to give you a chance to love as you now love."

"He shall come for Subaru." He whispered.

"We shall keep Subaru safe, I promise you."

The other man relaxed and, content that things are safe for the moment Kakyo returns to the phone. "Hello?" Hokuto sounded very unlike her usual self and he knew he had done the right thing he told her, "I know that Keiichi Segawa is Seishrio's brother, Hokuto . . .

"And I know that Murimi was his father . . . "

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

T: Snigger I can see Murimi saying I am you're father Sei-chan a la darth! R+R just so I know you care!


	8. Retaliation

8-Retaliation.

T: Chaosdragon has been working long and hard for me and I bring you the final two pieces of this fic…I hope they're worth the wait! Oh warnings the same and nope I'm not a member of Clamp.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"I know that Murimi is Seishiro's father."

"How did you find out?"

"Sakurazuka-san told me."

"Told you…but you said that he did not recall who Keiichi was."

"Not on the surface, but deep in his psyche he knows still."

"You mean you snooped?"

"I am afraid so and yet, Hokuto, you were scared and only in discovering the cause of that fear could I hope to take it away."

She sighs and when she again speaks he can hear the smile in her voice. "I should be angry at you for sneaking into something I had told you was a secret, Kakyo and yet for that motivation I find I can not."

"Then will you tell me the bits I do not know?"

"Setsuka and I joined the Sumeragi Corporation at about the same time and yet we did not really talk to one another until about a month before Seishiro-chan helped Subaru. She told me later that this was because she was married to Murimi at the time and he wished desperately to keep her close…to keep her away form the sort of publicity I, as their rising star, was getting.

"They had met when she was an awkward 16 year old, working her way through school with the aspiration of becoming a teacher or perhaps a model. It had apparently been love at first sight for them, but a month after the pair was married they were expecting their first child.

"The twins, Keiichi and Seishiro were born in the summer and Setsuka left school to look after them. She was happy enough in the role of the housewife and yet when, five years later, Murimi asked her to join the agency she leapt at the chance for a change in pace, and a chance to achieve one of her dreams.

"By that point Murimi had already become less kind hearted and was descending already into the madness that would lead both to Shijuku's death and his own. Setsuka saw such an eventuality on the horizon and but a year after joining the agency she asked for a divorce. It was a request Murimi granted with but two conditions. The first that Setsuka never talk again of being his wife and the second that he keep one of the twins.

"Setsuka's heart broke at the thought of separating the siblings at first she refused him. Murimi threatened court action . . . threatened to take both the twins from her and she was forced in the end to chose one rather than lose both. As Keiichi was already showing signs of an emotional detachment from the world and thus Setsuka chose Seishiro to be the one she raised as her own."

"On the day that she died Setsuka told me all of this, told me of Keiichi and then she told me that he had been in contact with her, that he seemed changed enough so that perhaps it was safe to re-unite him with his brother . . .

"But clearly that was not the case."

He recounted Seishiro's version of the events of that day and she remarks,

"That must be why Kamui saw only Keiichi that day, Seishiro would have been on the ground and if Kamui had come at the right angle . . . "

"Then he would have seem only one who looked as Sakurazuka-san, and as he had no knowledge of Keiichi he would have drawn the only logical conclusion. Yet how had he come to be there in the first place and why did he not tell the police of what he saw?"

"They met in a relatively public place, Kakyo and so for Kamui to have been passing through as not all that odd. He did not tell the police because he believed Seishiro-san was better off here in the institute and because he know subconsciously of his brother's feelings for the man. As you know, Kamui wishes to protect his brother, wishes to keep him safe, more than anything else in the world."

"Yet you have told him now that he has the wrong man, that he has hated Sakurazuka-san under false beliefs?"

"Yes, for as with you I had no choice but to tell him this truth."

"You do not wish me to tell Sakurazuka-san?"

"That is correct. The first that he awoke Kamui told him what he had seen and it was that truth that caused Seishiro-chan to go back to that fantasy world."

"Yet now he has a reason to stay in this reality, and anger enough inside of him that I can not see him hesitating to bringing Keiichi to justice."

"Keiichi is his twin, Kakyo and no matter how angry Seishiro-chan is I do not believe he shall wish him harmed." A beet and he considers if he should leave it as such, if he should keep to himself Sakurazuka-san's other concern . . . Yet if Sakurazuka-san was right . . .

"What if Keiichi were to harm Subaru?"

"Why?" She enquires and then her mind fills in the blanks and she whispers, "I have to go." before the line goes dead.

……………………………………………………………………………….

There was someone else in his apartment.

This registering as some lazy thing on the edge of his subconscious as he rolls into waking.

Aware that it might possibly be an intruder he gropes in the dark for a weapon and it is only when his fingers come into contact with the paperweight, which is kept always at his bedside, that he venture into the gloom of the apartment.

A familiar figure sat on the couch and almost without a thought he dropped his guard, but just barely, "Seishiro . . . "

The other smiled then and Subaru found his grip tightening again on the paperweight. It was not Seishiro's smile, and though this other looks the same as the man he loved, he knew that it was an imposture, that it is some other person.

"Who are you?"

"I am the mirror of he you know as Seishiro Sakurazuka and yet whom should have claimed the Segawa name as myself . . . as our father . . . "

"Murimi was Seishiro's father?"

"That is right. And it was your family, your mother, who insured that he was destroyed, insured that mother tuned away from father and from me. You aspire to take Seishiro away from me now and I can not allow that . . . I can not allow the last of my family to be stolen away."

There is a flash of steal then and fear freezes him to the spot. "Seishiro . . . " He whispered as the knife plunged towards him.

He feels a body slam into him, and feels himself clatter to the floor in shock. It is only when the paperweight clatters to the floor, miraculously remaining in one piece, that he comes back to himself.

Kamui is crouched to the floor, his hand pressed to the deep bleeding cut on his arm and the breath heavy in his lungs. "Kamui!" Subaru said as he gained his feet.

"Stay still." The other remarks and then smiling despite his obvious pain he says, "I am okay, Subaru . . . it is all okay."

"Why would you believe that, child, especially when you are both in such a vulnerable position?"

"Because I have to keep my faith, because already you have made me doubt both myself and my family . . . When I saw Seishiro I thought to go and talk to him . . . to tell him how thankful I was that he was finally making Subaru live his life, finally making him happy.

"Yet he was covered in blood and Setsuka was so pail . . . so pail . . . I saw your smile on his face and yet still I allowed myself to believe that Seishiro had been the one who killed her . . . still I allowed myself to believe that one who smiled as gently as Seishiro-san could harm another."

"How sentimental . . . yet that emotion, as with all other emotion, is useless to you."

"You have killed your mother, have insured that the twin you claim to 'love' is destined to live his life in an institute and yet still you smile that empty smile. Yes, perhaps emotion is useless in certain situations . . . and yet to feel nothing in that situation is the true disadvantage."

"For that belief you shall die first." The intruder remarks. As in a dream Subaru gains his feet, feels his hands gripping again to the paperweight and for a moment the world blanks away.

When it comes back the intruder is unconscious on the floor and Kamui is sat close to him, one hand clenched had still to his arm and the other laid gently on Subaru's shoulder. "Is he…?" Subaru enquires after a moment.

"No."

"Good." He begins to cry then and Kamui simply holds him. They have not been this way since Subaru had moved out nine years ago, yet he finds himself clutching to the comfort as though it shall be snatched from him at any given moment.

He had never thought himself capable of harming another and yet . . . yet it seemed that even he could harm if something he loved was under threat and perhaps this was not a bad thing. Perhaps this was at last the precursor to the confidence he had always lacked . . .

And the freedom he had always craved.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

T: R+R that's all I have to say!


	9. Resolution

9. Resolution.

T: Chaosdragon has been working long and hard for me and I bring you the final two pieces of this fic…I hope they're worth the wait! Oh warnings the same and nope I'm not a member of Clamp.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Again and again they asked the brothers to recount their tale. Their mother arrived midway through the proceedings and it is by her command that they are eventually released.

Subaru is shaking by the time they reach the car and Kamui offers again the comfort of his embrace, offers again a solidification of their friendship.

As they travel their mother again recounts the tale of Setsuka's last secret, of her marriage to Murimi and the choice he had forced her to make. Subaru was slient for a moment, than remembered something Keiichi had said. "He believed that their break-up was for your sake, mother…"

"No, that was never the case. Setsuka could see that Murimi would become, could see his madness lurking deep within and that was why she left him."

"Why would he kill Setsuka-kun and attempt to kill me if he truly was emotionless?" Subaru enquired.

"Because beneath that shell of emotionless lay the immeasurable love that he held for his twin . . . a love for Setsuka that had been divided by her choice, and a love that you had claimed a portion of . . . "

Silence a moment and then Subaru enquires, "What will happen now, mother, to Seishiro and Segawa-san?"

"It is more than likely that Keiichi shall be placed in Monou-san's permanent care and that once the police have Seishiro-chan's statement on record he shall be free to leave the institute."

Subaru was smiling just barely now and he mumbled the word 'free' before he enquired, "Will it hurt Seishiro to recall that day, mother?"

"Perhaps just a little, Subaru, yet I think that he would feel better if you were at his side."

"Mother…what if he can not forgive me for harming his twin?"

"He will forgive you, Subaru, because he loves you." Subaru's smile brightened then and a calm silence filled the rest of their journey.

Their mother had phoned ahead and thus, despite the lateness of the hour, the visitors entrance was still open. Kakyo was waiting for them in the hallway and after a kiss from their mother and an explanation of what had occurred he leaf them down to Seishiro-kun's room.

Fuuma was already sat with the other, his attention given over entirely to the words Seishiro-kun was speaking, "Mother wished for me to meet someone…I think we talked about it earlier and yet I cannot recall what it is…"

"If we could interrupt…" Kakyo remarked from the door.

"Of course Kizuki-san." Fuuma says as he turns to face them.

Kamui knew that they must look quite a mess; Subaru is dressed still in his blood flecked pyjamas, their mother is frowning in a very uncharacteristic manner and Kamui himself has medical gauze wrapped tightly about his left arm. Fuuma's eyes grew wide with worry. "Kamui are you alright?"

Kamui nodded. "I will live and for that I have to be thankful."

"Then he truly did go after Subaru?"

"Yes and I got there only just in time . . . one second more . . . " he trailed off, not wanting to think about it.

Seishiro-kun was frowning now and Subaru moves from the group to come and stand at the man's other side, "Who tried to kill you, Subaru?"

"You already know, Sakurazuka-san." Kakyo states.

For a moment it seemed that even now Seishiro-kun will refuse to recall his brother's part in his pain . . . and then a sharp clarity comes upon his face, "Keiichi."

Kakyo nods even though it was not truly an enquiry and the other turns his head slightly from the group.

"I am sorry, Seishiro." Subaru remarked after a moment.

"Is he dead?"

"No."

A further moment of silence and then another enquiry: "Shall you be taking him on here, Monu-kun?"

"If you have no objections then of course I shall, Sakurazuka-san."

"You have helped me so very much Monu-san and I know that you shall do what you can to bring my brother back to himself."

"I appreciate the faith, Sakurazuka-san and perhaps in time he will become well enough that you may visit him . . . if you have wish to of course."

"Of course." Seishiro-kun is smiling now and Kamui knows that his earlier assurance to his brother had not been in vain.

He knows that it will indeed 'be alright'

…………………………………………………………………………………..

It has been two years since Seishiro-chan had been granted freedom from Monu-kun's institute and it becomes clearer everyday that he shall never again have to return to that place, and that he is free to be himself him again.

He and Subaru have bought a home to live in together and though it is sad that the walls will never know the laughter of children, such a thing is overcome by the joy of knowing that they have dedicated themselves to being forever together.

Kamui has taken over Kakyo's role in Monu-san's institute and there is rumour enough surrounding the pair at the moment that it cannot be long be until they too are planning their futures with one another.

Seishiro-kun visits Keiichi often and the change that those visits have wrought on not only Keiichi, but Seishiro-kun as well is breathtaking to perceive.

For Keiichi had become as his father was long ago and though none of us shall ever forgive him Setsuka's death…though that day mars still Keiichi's sanity…he has become now as a figure of joy in our lives rather than one of misery.

The darker more introspective Seishiro-kun who had been created within his fantasy world has blended with the gentle, fun loving, Seishiro of old to become a man very much worthy of my son's affections.

With Kamui proving his worth as Kakyo's replacement my husband has retired and dedicated a portion of his free time to teaching Kishu-san all she shall needs to know to move into the profession of 'Dream seeing' to coin one of Seishiro-chan's phrases.

I continues to manage Shijuku's business, implementing her own ideas into the designs to add a unique flair to the style of the Sumeragi corporations clothing that will hopefully increase our customer base.

Subaru has grown into a strong man and though he still has to watch the weakness of his heart he has not had an attack since the day he went to meet Seishiro-chan again.

Perhaps there will be another attack on the horizon, this one enough to actually kill my child, yet I have decided not to dwell on such things . . . I have decided to live my life by each day in the memory of both my first husband and my best friend.

And I have decided to appreciate the simple, uncomplicated, beauty of the present.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

T: Well the beast is well and truly dead, thanks to those who stuck around I hope you've enjoyed it! R+R as it's the last time you'll get the chance!


End file.
